The Bloom Report Vol 11 [Bloomology]

Welcome To Friday! 📆

The Girl Boss Movement was a trap yall! Did you fall into it? I did 🤦🏾‍♀️.

A Catch-22, A Hoax …The Girl Boss Era was a myth and didn’t work for Black women. To be honest, we really weren’t included in the movement, made famous by Sophia Amoruso to begin with. Let me take you back to the time period between 2014-2019 - where female capitalism and female corporate empowerment as at an all-time high.

This is the same movement that was telling women to just put their head down and grind it out. And making suggestions like, if you’re not getting what you want in your life or career then it must be your fault somehow. You must not be trying hard enough, or you must not be consistently putting in the work. LIES! We were told if we need to fix something, it should start with ourselves.

Dirty lies like you can get there or you can have it all if you’re strong enough.

This ignores systemic blockers and challenges that impact the day-to-day lives of Black women. Things like the glass ceiling and lack of pay equity for Black women in Corporate America. It ignores the realities of resources for working moms and the fact that when men become parents they often make more money and when women become parents they see their salaries decrease significantly. According to Forbes and USA Today , “ That means they stand to lose $17,000 annually, but the wage gap widens and losses are even greater for women of color: Black mothers lose an average of $34,000 compared to white fathers, Native American mothers $36,000 and Latina mothers $38,000.”

It ignores opportunity equity and educational equity. The struggle has always been real! These are the extra layers of life that exhaust us.

This leads us to The Black Women’s Superhero Syndrome or S.B.W. (Strong Black Women) . Let me give you the dets. According to Dr. Cheryl L. Woods-Giscombe, a UNC-Chapel Hill professor, Black Women’s Superhero Syndrome happens when Black women feel societal pressure and an obligation to engage in the following behaviors:

• Display strength and operate from the place

• Suppress emotions

• Succeed at all costs no matter what

• Help everyone around you

• Put yourself last and serve others first, no matter what

The syndrome acts as a liability and an asset in the white workplace, most times leading to anxiety, extreme stress, depression, weight loss, and sometimes permanent damage to physical, psychological, mental, and emotional health. This is generational trauma and a survival mode tactic. Operating from a place of “being twice as good to be good enough” or living in burnout culture and “hustle mode” as the only way to so-called make it.

Sis, this is not the way. Let’s remember the words of the late great philosopher, Audre Lorde, “ Rest is resistance”. “Self-care is self-preservation”. 👑

Often rest, soft life, mental health breaks, and quitting are all reserved for White women or non-BIPOC women, and it’s up to us to claim and demand these things. We need to create space for these things, and be intentional about designing our lives around it. Sometimes self-care for Black women at work needs to involve challenging what’s considered normal, challenging what they thought a Black woman leading should look like, challenging what doesn’t serve us or work for us anymore. 💅🏾

Its okay for things to fall apart sometimes. It’s okay to take all your PTO and then some. It’s okay for us to not do the most work or for us to simplify our lives to the fullest.

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay! OK!

Here is what you can do to embrace self-care and rest in the workplace to combat girl boss behavior and S.B.W:

✨Create a daily self-care routine and practices that supports your well-being

✨Humanize yourself at work - this means stop apologizing for everything and when you mess up just own it and move on. Be a little more vulnerable without fearing being fired. Say no and stick to your boundaries.

✨Stop rationalizing toxic behaviors and irrational behaviors at work - We take this on way too much. Just stop. Don’t justify mistreatment and disrespect. I’ve seen so many Black women let toxic, disrespectful people, experiences, and habits take residence in their heads and spirits. Protect your peace and advocate for yourself.

✨ Be where you are respected and celebrated and not tolerated. Listen, the best way your company can show their appreciation and celebrate you is with the bag! 💸💸 Not with more responsibilities, not with an email shout-out, not with a title promotion without a compensation increase! They can respect you with a seat at the table, with decision-making responsibilities, elevating and implementing your ideas and strategies, and respecting your boundaries and schedule. These are just some things to look out for, but I encourage you to make your own list of needs and non-negotiables.

We don’t need to just survive work experience, we need to thrive. It’s about reclaiming rest, joy, and peace and nurturing yourself ( whatever that may look like for you).

If you want to read more on setting boundaries at work and what “work-life balance means to me check out my recent featured article in AfroTech ( YASSSSS, ya girl was featured honey!!!)

Cheers to the weekend loves ( and cheers to my wins!) 💅🏾

Jeneba