The Bloom Report Vol 12 [Bloomology]

Welcome To Friday! 📆

A Black woman advocated for herself in her workplace and a white woman cried real Karen tears 🤦🏾‍♀️. Sound familiar? No surprise there sis!

In case you missed it , this past week was the US Open and little sis, tennis star Coco Guaff did not come to play with these people. She let the umpire have it respectfully.

What happened was….. her opponent in the match, was taking hella breaks, continuously making Coco wait on her own serve, forcing Coco to even serve again saying she wasn’t ready to play. The whole time, the umpire refused to call against any penalties which is the rule.

Sis was tired and she had enough, like most of us at work. So here’s what happened next…

I don’t know much about tennis rules, but what I do know is that we live in a world where the rules of engagement are not the same for melanated folk, especially not for Black women. Even more so, not for Black women in the workplace.

Listen Black women are tired of the foolery!

What Coco did was a masterclass on self-advocacy because she did it in the moment of frustration, but she was able to move from emotions to feelings.

She was able to process what was happening and not give an automatic response, but instead; think through and process her emotions, resulting in empowered feelings. When we lead with off-the-cuff reactions, we often go unheard, our needs go unmet, and we don’t get the results we’re looking for.

CoCo came with the facts because she knows her stuff and was calm and collected. She walked away like “ I said, what said” because she was in the right headspace to clearly communicate her needs.

She did not allow anyone to treat her unfairly or disregard the rules when it was convenient only for them.

When I face these kinds of conflicts in the workplace the most important thing I can is to document at all times and lead with the facts.

Here is the framework I use for communicating my needs and navigating conflict at work:

💫Prepare Yourself

Do your homework, research and back it up with logic and data. When did it happen? What exactly happened? Who was involved? What is the negative impacts on you and others? Does it violate you and your non-negotiables?

Are there any federal, state, and local laws on the issue? Do any of your company's HR policies and guidelines speak to the issue? Can you consult with a legal professional in your network on the issue you are experiencing and help you craft the needed communication? There are some of the questions you can ask to document accurately.

💫Consult With Your Community

Before you bring the issue up, consult with trusted friends or peers who can provide valuable perspective. Talk to mentors who know the landscape and can advise on strategy. Run your main points by close colleagues to get their take. Listen with an open mind—maybe they see something you’ve missed. Consult your support network for their feedback and input. Have others experienced the situation you have experienced? What were their lessons?

💫Document everything

Put your thoughts down on paper. Write out your key arguments and the optimal outcome you’re seeking. Writing your thoughts out, allows you to get clear on what you want to say, to tighten your language and logically order your points.

💫State Your Case

When it’s time for the discussion, clearly communicate your needs and interests. Restate why the issues matter and and present the facts. Lead from a place of power and before you present the case always understand the big picture and the broader context.

💫Here are some things to write out ( if you have the time) before you bring up the issue:

• What is the real issue (not the perceived issue)?

• What is the negative impact on you and your team, and ultimately the organization?

• What is your ideal, desired resolution?

• How can it be a win not only for yourself but for others involved?

• What is your best alternative?

• What are your non-negotiables?

Self-advocacy is challenging and sometimes exhausting, but super rewarding.

Self-advocacy is a powerful tool in our self-care toolbox as Black women. A tool we can use to assert our needs, rights, and desires effectively. It involves speaking up for oneself, making informed decisions, and actively participating in living your dream personal and professional life. I can go on forever about the benefits of self-advocacy… it can lead to personal growth, career growth, better communications, improved relationships, increased self-confidence, and my personal fave, better overall well-being and mental health.

Let me know the last time you advocated for yourself and the impact it had on you 👑 Also, let’s normalize Black women advocating for themselves!

Cheers to the weekend loves ( and cheers to more self-advocacy) 💅🏾

Jeneba