The Bloom Report Vol 30 [Bloomology] 🌹🌹🌹

Welcome To Friday Saturday! 📆

Still high on the self-love? Us too?

We’re still celebrating life and love even though Valentine’s Day is over.

This week we’re going to keep it short and sweet.

So much of self-love has to do with mindset and how we speak to ourselves.

Since National Self Love Day was this week we wanted to share some tips to help you be a little kinder to yourself, especially in the way we speak to ourselves. Give yourself some much-needed grace ( we are cause we know we are a day late with this newsletter!).

While at the nail salon yesterday and an older white woman looked at my nails - she was both in awe and somewhat nervous. She was having a debate with herself. She complimented my nails and told me how creative I must be.

I heard her telling her nail tech, “ I wish I could be that brave, that bold.”

The myth is that you need some magic formula to be brave or bold when really you just need to tell yourself that you are Brave and Bold on repeat. It will reprogram your mind with enough repetition. Then take small action steps that are brave, bold, and outside of your comfort zone to prove to yourself that you are capable of brave and bold. Small daily progress is all we need. Small progress is progress! Get into your 1% better daily era.

Make a habit of actively acknowledging and rewarding minor wins, compliments ,priorities completed, moments of courage, and acts of self-care. Write them down, tell a friend,an give yourself a small treat. Validate yourself. This trains your brain to recognize more positive than negative at work, shifting perspective.

Let’s get into how negative self-talk is holding you back sis. It impacts every area of our lives as women from how show up to how advocate ( or don’t advocate) for ourselves.

1. Diminished Confidence - Self-criticism is a major confidence killer. When we consistently second guess our talents, ideas, and competencies, we are less likely to speak up assertively and self-promote successfully. The imposter syndrome will run rampant, fueled by inner voices insisting we are not enough. Noticing and then quieting these voices is key to owning our worth.

2. Perfectionism & Fear of Failure - The unrelentingly high standards of our inner critic fuel perfectionism tendencies ( can you relate?) As a result, we obsess over minor mistakes and flaws while fearing failure when we cannot meet unrealistic internal expectations. Perfectionism limits career risk-taking and self-advocacy. Owning that we are perfectly imperfect is truly liberating.

4. Reduced Risk-Taking & Increased Self-Doubt - Over time negative self-talk diminishes our ability to bounce back from career setbacks or rejections and, eventually, our ability to take risks altogether.

Learning to actively counterbalance negative self-assessments by speaking to ourselves with more compassion, realism, and encouragement is so empowering. We must be our own best ally and cheerleader in the workplace if we hope to show up fully as our boldest, most actualized selves.

Here’s what you can do to help yourself ( because nobody is coming to save us sis):

The first step is identifying and challenging negative and critical self-talk

Pay attention to the type of internal dialog you have with yourself, especially around work.

❓Do you minimize your contributions while exaggerating your weaknesses?

Actively challenge negative self-assessments and replace them with more balanced perspectives. Rather than "I'm not ready for that promotion," try "While I still have room to grow, I already have what it takes, the core competencies and the experience for the next level."

💫Then set Aside Time for Self-Reflection - Carve out time in your schedule to quietly reflect on your skills, accomplishments, and value. Move beyond work output or outcomes and consider your unique strengths, such as emotional intelligence, resilience, kindness, or integrity. Areas needing growth don't negate areas of competence. Write down affirming reminders of your capabilities and talents. Re-read when you need a confidence boost ( We just put out our Career Journal to help you do just that, Shop Here)

💫Cultivate A Habit of Self-Compassion - Self-criticism comes easily, but self-compassion takes practice. Create self-compassion rituals in your life. Actively silence your inner critic and replace judgment with understanding. Think about what you would say to encourage a close friend struggling with self-doubt. Extend that same grace and caring perspective to yourself. Be your own cheerleader.

💫Collect Evidence Against Negative Thoughts - This is the most important step! When your brain attacks you with negative self-assessments, act like a detective and collect counter-evidence. Keep a document with situational examples that disprove persistent negative thoughts. For instance, if you believe "I'm not qualified for media interviews," document each time you successfully conveyed key messages. Refer to your receipts when old patterns of thinking creep back in.

I hope you give yourself a little bit more grace and be a lot more gentle and loving with how you speak to yourself after reading this. Speak to yourself better than you speak to your BFF 🤎🤎🤎🤎